Human beings have an infinite capacity to be kind, generous, and supportive of one another. When that happens, I call it the huddle effect. It often occurs when people need support during a crisis. Suddenly, we realize how much we need each other. Recently, my neighborhood experienced a massive blackout—our public utility shut off all electricity for a week to lessen the potential for fire outbreaks during California’s drought season. When that happened, my next-door neighbors turned on the only generator in the neighborhood and hosted a big dinner party. Everyone came together to break bread and enjoy each other’s company. We laughed and caught up on our lives, forgetting about the blackout, joking about the minor inconveniences of no electricity, and feeling the support of our little village. We set aside political and other differences; we found comfort and support in each other’s company.
Human beings need each other. We’re pack animals who thrive in close contact with others. If you exist only for yourself, you risk losing out on one of the most meaningful aspects of the human experience—belonging. Being part of something larger than yourself is meaningful, fulfilling, and rewarding. It’s a primary reason that people have children, impactful careers, and/or an abiding faith in a higher power.
The extended village provides the familial and societal context for your core belief systems. A loving, healthy village fosters life-affirming values. Kindness, consideration, and a healthy respect for others (both inside and outside the group) are common hallmarks of a healthy ecosystem within a group. Conversely, a village where the members have suffered prolonged deprivation, separation, or mistreatment can become a breeding ground for fear and mistrust.
When we find ourselves struggling with the effects of collective trauma—whether it’s hardship that we’ve experienced firsthand, or something that’s been passed through the generations—a healthy support system is one of our frontline defenses. Creating and sustaining a healthy system allows us to build the psychological bridge from fear to love.
Not only do human beings need each other for mental and emotional sustenance, but also our nervous systems depend on each other for safety and connection. When you’re separated from your village, when you’re lonely or isolated, there’s a dramatic impact on your physical and emotional health. This isolation severely compromises your well-being. That’s why people seek companionship and support from others.
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