In my tradition it's common to offer memorial wheat to mourners when someone dies. It's a good tradition because while you're making this you can think of the person who passed on and those who are mourning them and it gives you something to offer people and comfort them instead of hurrying away from a funeral or memorial service. It's good to make it the day before you share it. Some folks give it two days.
Get about one-and-one-half pounds of brown wheat berries or something similar. I've seen people use kasha or wheat cereals. Wash it thoroughly and have it boil for a few hours until it is done. Pour cold water over it and let it sit over night.
Spread it out in a pan and---this part REALLY matters---sop up any extra moisture with paper towels. Put it in a large bowl and mix in one-pound of fine walnuts, one-quarter pound of chopped pecans, one teaspoon (or a bit more) of honey, a good bit of powdered sugar, one-half teaspoon of salt, and maybe one-half of a carton of plain bread crumbs or so. Some people add pomegranate seeds. Mix it by hand.
Some people mound it on a platter and shape it with wax paper. I always left it in a bowl, but it's good to smooth it out. Use wax paper for all of the smoothing and molding.
Add some more bread crumbs when it's all smooth so that the wheat is covered over by the bread crumbs. Top it with powdered sugar, raisins, and cinnamon. If the person who has passed is a Christian, you can make a cross on top out of raisins, pistachios or Jordan almonds. It's nice to put a beeswax candle in and light it.
It's also nice when one person serves it to others in little paper cups. Give the leftovers to the family in your bowl and then call in a week or so to get your bowl back and check in to see how they're doing.
